Homesickness

Well, by this time your student has been in college almost two months. They are probably experiencing a bit of homesickness. For those of us 35 and older we often wonder how could this be? In the age of technology, now more than ever we are in constant communication via home, text, Facebook, a Twitter and Skype. So how can a student be homesick? It's easy to miss home cooking, friends, family traditions, pets and even those pesky siblings.

The best thing is to remind the student they can always call home. I've worked with students who have been heartbroken being away from home. Fortunately, they have been able to go home. When this isn't the case, it's best to remind them to keep in contact. Another reminder for students is to get involved in campus activities and meet other students. Participating in events gives an opportunity to make friends and pass the time.

The beauty to become the person, they desire to be lies in the separation from the familiar. The options become limitless when you're not bound by people who think,they have you figured out. 

Encourage your student to utilize their new surroundings to do new things, meet new people and grow as a person.

The Mid Summer Epiphany

Over the years  of working with students in Residence Life, I have been made aware of the strange happenings over the summer. Although the summer is known as a time for work and play, something happens to the student who has just completed their first year of school and living on campus. There is an epiphany that occurs. The student reflects on the good and the bad. They realize their parents had a point about responsibility (although the confession of the realIzation won't comes until their 30's). 

These students will return to campus more confident about their abilities, surroundings and resources. The staff will immediately see the change and smile because they finally got the epiphany. 

Parents, don't lose hope. Remember to guide not coddle your student. Teach them how to maneuver paperwork, people and situations. Don't do things for them because it's easier for you. This delays the preparation for their success.  Don't block the epiphany. 

School's Out for Summer

With students leaving campuses across the country to return to their home towns, there is a challenge for households. If you have a students who has just completed their first semester or first year, there is the subject of independence.  Living on campus gives a rush of independence to the student. Mom is not there to give a curfew, talk about keeping the room clean or wake a student up for class. Had you considered how things will change when your student returns.
Trust me, your student has been thinking about it for months. They are planning to hang out late, work, hangout with friends and of course sleep in and eat some great home cooking.

Take some time to talk with your student about house rules. Consider this...you have been dying for them to grow up so the obligation is on you to treat them like an adult. Give the expectations...clearly.

Have a great summer!

Contagious and Cautions

There has been a recent outbreak of meningitis and scabies. There has also been a lack of communication from students and parents who are experiencing symptoms and the parents know about the symptoms. When symptoms occur there should be an immediate response to inform residence life within colleges. There is a high probability you can spread your disease among others in the community. 

Residence life has a duty and obligation to make sure that all residents are safe. That means isolating or even sending a student home, cleaning disinfecting the entire residence hall and making sure that other students are not experiencing symptoms. The obligation of communication falls on those who are experiencing symptoms because there is no other way for anyone to know.

Please make sure your student is communicating any issues that are going on with them to their residence life staff. You will feel more comfortable if everyone is communicating. The community of residence life also feel more comfortable and they will also feel safer knowing that everyone is doing their part.

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Settled In

Your student has finally settled in to the routine of classes, friends and fun. But, how has independence affected their maturity. Many parents are surprised by how much their student has changed. Most times that change is for the better. The student seems to learn the value of a dollar or they are even neater than they were before living on campus.

The challenge will be those home visits. Campus life tends to create a larger sense of independence. There are often no curfews and no one "nags" them about what to do and how to do it. The challenge will be for parents to recognize them as adults but remind students the structure of home is different than the structure of school. Compromises will have to be made with respect being the foundation on both parts. This is a conversation you may want to have before the Thanksgiving visit. Weekend home visits are pretty easy to handle but those longer visits can be a bit more to handle.

Expectations vs Reality

As you move your student on campus and leave them to start a new chapter, you may want to consider expectation versus reality. There is always confusion between the two that are often brought on by emotions of the separation between a parent and student. There is also the fact that some parents simply have not prepared their students to be independent.

Most parents in my experience expect housing staff to keep a close eye on their baby but the reality is, your baby is an adult. They will be given boundaries to operate in but their is not much handholding after the first week of living on campus.

Your student is expected to be resourceful and read bulletin boards, syllabi and other items around them. The reality is because most parents have done everything for their students, they don't read, they expect those in authority to remind them of their responsibilities.

Parents, remember your expectations may not be reality. You have also have to remember, this is a transition for your student to learn independence and the real world.

Students, your expectations of housing staff should not be based on how your parents treat you at home. The real world has been entered and the reality is ...your an adult.

Shopping and Packing

The most mind numbing thing can be shopping for the dorm, especially if this is the first experience of living on campus. Many people tend to buy too much and over pack as well. Here are some tips to remember...

Remember, there may be a roommate and limited space. Consider that your roommate may also want to coordinate with you in decorating or in buying supplies. So make sure you contact them in advance to set a plan in motion to make sure your room is functional as possible.

Take notice of the list of items suggested by the dormitory of what to bring and what to leave home. The last thing you want to do is bring items that you should not have the dorm. 

Also remember if you live close to home don't bring the entire house with you! LOL! Remember that you can always go home on holidays or weekends if possible to make changes in your wardrobe or take things back home with you. If this is not an option, remember to pack smart and know that you will have resources around you to get other items that you may need.

Don't shop too much, and don't packpack too  much. It is the best thing that you can do to prepare for campus living.

😉

Anxiety and Communication

Move-in day is quickly approaching and you are anxious as can be! The worst thing you could possibly do is be rude to any staff at the college or university your student is  attending. Believe it or not, they really do understand your anxiety about your situation. They deal with hundreds of parents every year in regards to their students leaving home and moving onto campus. Take note and be reasonable about your request. If you've been told that your information will be mail that week please wait for the information. This can only help you and your student in the future please remember that your interaction will be remembered and it may be a reflection on your student on how well they are prepared to live on their own. It's an huge concern for residence life staff that students they receive are not prepared to do anything independently because of their parents. Clear communication is key and always appreciated by college officials. There is nothing better than have an appreciated. Understand that things take time and there is a process to getting things completed. And it's always appreciated that a parent and student recognize  they are not the only one embarking on this journey.

The Transition

As the summer fun moves quickly, housing paperwork begins to flood the mailbox and visions of campus living become frightening. The transition for student and parent can be very scary. As you journey through this blog in the coming days, you will learn what you need to help make this a great process!

A New Journey to Higher Learning

As we step into 2013. Many of you are continuing the search for an institution of higher learning with your student. I would like this to be your resource for learning about the transition from living at home to campus living. This week, I will be posting about following the housing process. This is very important because the process to higher education can be confusing to someone new to the process. I look forward to posting!

An Introduction

Welcome! I am The Dorm Mom! This blog was started in a effort to prepare parents and students for living on campus while attending college. Moving away from everything familiar is no easy task. I work as a Director of Residence Life at a small college, previous to my current position, I was the Hall Manager affectionately known as "The Dorm Mom". I have been able to see what's needed for students to thrive socially and academically. I have also been privileged to work with parents on what is necessary to support their student without being a hindrance on their independence.

As time goes on, you will read on various topics such as adapting to different cultures, how to handle roommates and even how to use the resources on campus. It has been my goal since working in higher education to offer something to prepare parents and students because not only has time changed technology and teaching but it has also changed parenting styles.

I look forward to passing on knowledge that will give you an edge for success.


Loving,

The Dorm Mom